Hi, for those who don’t know me, my name is Ian, and I’ve been attending the church all my life. Growing up in the church, I’ve been taught and surrounded by teachings about God’s love, faithfulness, and how he works in everyone through his plan for us. I believed and trusted in those promises without question.
I wanted to be a disciple of Christ which in turn led me to serving in children’s ministry through agapeland. However about three years ago, my faith was tested when my mom had suffered a stroke. During that time it left me with so many questions and doubts, wondering why God would allow something such as this to happen. I prayed for healing and answers, but at times, it felt like God was silent. It caused me to doubt God while being faced with the suffering places upon me.
Despite being in the midst of my suffering, I’ve seen Jesus working in my heart. Jesus has been teaching me to lean on him even when I don’t understand. In my moments of distress and doubt, He meets me with grace, reminding me that it’s okay to bring my questions, and uncertainties to him. Through prayer, I’m reassured where I can see Jesus comforting me when I suffer and understands me better in ways no one else can, sometimes even more than myself. He also has changed the way I see others and myself, allowing me to notice His workings. Through the people who’ve supported my family in that time 3 years ago, and the strength I see in my mom. Where I once felt hopeless, He’s helping me find trust and peace, reminding me that He’s in control, even when life feels uncertain.
A verse I have referred to is 2 Corinthians 12:9:
"But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."
This has ultimately allowed me to fully accept Jesus into my life. I’m still on this journey of faith, and although there are days when I still may mess up at times and wrestle with questions and doubts, I know that Jesus is patient with me, letting me walk alongside him and gently drawing me closer to him.